29th September

Today i wake up really early in the morning, just to celebrate my friend who is a really nice girl... i wake up early even i slept last day at 3 am, and i reach the Macdonald early than others about 30 minute.... i spend my whole morning to celebrate with her... she is very happy.....
During my tuition class.... i am quite happy so... because i knew what to do for the question given by teacher... but then my friend Yan Zheng send a news that he went into a accident, a lorry bang his Proton Iswara backside. I am worry him too, But lucky he is okie, just the backside lamp was crashed. Okie... he is fine then eveything is okie...
Tonight i have a meal with my old tuition class friend, we chat alot.... and we eat nice food... and we joking a lot so. We go and find our tuition centre headmistress , Miss Siew for visit, she still so beautiful and nice people. She treat us a lot of strawberrys, joke and some special event in her teaching life.... Afterward, i send all my friend back home by my cool Red Issawa.... We chat in my car, i felt so happy, really.
After send Chia Shiun and Liang chai go home, next is Ah Pang, then we go search for shortcut back to su shyan house. But this girl girl always bring me go Holland, we lost but lucky we get back the correct way after 3 minute..... haha...


But the God seem like going to fooling me.....

When i turn into right side road in a juction, there are all dark infront of the upcoming road, i do not see any car lamp light or motor light comeing along the road, think is safe enough, then i quicky turn inside the road without showing signal.when i turn halfway, suddenly an dark OBJECT heading to my left car light.It bang it hardly and bang second time at left back seat door. I am stunned, When this motor come? Why i cant see any light?? i am sure there is no light at all. i quicky park the car beside and go look for that injured. all the malays drop by, they scold me or even pointing me, say me not give signal, and driving so fast. I argued back, is that driver had not on his light, they say he had, Whatever, all those malays people just scold and do nothing there. Su Shyan was panic, she call her daddy, and i call my mom so... then one of the injured malays friend say that he need a phone to call his family, so i borrow him my phone and i call su shyan take care and also my phone, i go take my care and bring this malays guy to clinic. but when i bring that malays into car, i found that my phone gone. Huh? a bad feel get ride in my mine, sure i have lost it.... yea... a indian take it and gone.... Haha....... how silly i am....

for 20 minute the doctor exam the malays, he got injured his brain last time, so now he have bang his head again, but lucky he wear helmet, but he feel a bit not well. Maybe he need to do X-Ray scanning to determine any blood clothing or spine injured or else. but the doctor say he is fine, just his hand got some injuries. Oh..... then he leave and i bring my dad to make report in Klang police station..... Now just need to depend to the motorcylist condition, perhaps he is fine, if not, maybe i will stay in jail or penalty 10k or both.... Haha.........

2 hours at there, write report..... sarjan asking question.... explaining what am i facing..... and take car photo.... my car was heavily damaged.... i really sad and heart thorned.... i like my car very well..... it is my only way to let me go out from house to school, tuition, shooping, meeting with friend.... and also my phone.... i grab many nice picture for Pei Seen, who birthday today... and also the puppy hanging on my phone..... i really love it....

Alone in living room, with my dear computer.... i only can pour out my tear now... little by little, soundless..... i am weak.... i control my feeling in police station, at the clinic, and also....the panic, the helpless feel....and etc.... i dun wan show weak in front of people... i knew i am wrong, so that malays too, but i dun wan cry.....

But.....


My brown jacket, whch is my favorite cool preventer, was saving my tears, drop by drop..... No people can share my feel.... Only crying can let me released from this stress.....


I am a useless boy....

26th September

It has been a long period i have not update my blog. Just kept my memorial in my dairy. A exam week, totally make me fade out. I do not like to study at all, but i have to.... whatever... at lease i done some hard work for this exam, although it does not work at all.....
It was cool today, either in class or in tuition center. Honestly my body absolutely weaker than normal people. I felt into half conscious and sleepy.... cannot stand this.... i walk to my friend class and try to have a new environment. They are much more happier, play around even we all have to sit for last paper in an hour. By completing my dairy, i notice that i start to feel a bit lost, after 3 more month, would i still have chance to joke with them? Wonder...
My tooth start feel some aching and pain.... it make me hard to sleep or think at all... although i go look for dentist for last month and doctor repair for it, but it getting worse.... should i decide to pull off this tooth or just left it? But i will permanently lost one tooth if i take it off, but in reverse i have to spend thousand of dollar to cut off my tooth spine.... headache.....
These day i start to think about friendship, now only i notice that i do not have a good friend( i mean boys, i have one good friend who is a girl) which can share my life. Suzan is busy in study, so..... haven to depend to my dairy, to find a way speak out my thought, silly huh?
The Haze from forest fire was arrived....at the same time,a mist approaching to my life.....